May 3, 2010

Got Millie off to school and ellie off with Melissa Fowler. Melissa said she would watch Ellie while Chris and i go to see Dr. Thomson. we get to Dr. Thomson's office and get checked in right away. First the nurse checked my weight, blood pressure and asked a few questions about my health. the nurse got out a gown from the cupboard and said "the doctor likes to have his patients get undressed for their first visits". Chris and I laughed about that, wouldn't that be a great line for all doctors no matter what their profession, dentist, foot doctor, eye doctor. just sounded so funny at the time.
The doctor wanted to give me a pelvic exam and anal exam. so uncomfortable. the doctor saw the cancer and said, its still there, we had a chuckle. we talked about radiation and the doctor told me i would be led to the radiation machine to get set up for the future radiation treatments. the nurse came in and i recognized her from somewhere. come to find out she is a master gardener so we talked about gardening the whole time. She lead Chris and me to the changing room and told Chris to wait there and then lead me to the radiation room. she had me get up on a table that was connected to a big donut looking machine. i got on the table and they started getting me ready for the set up. they put this weird sheet thing that molded to my lower half, butt and legs. Every time i come to radiation i get in this mold so everything matches up. The nurse put a rod thing in my vagina and then taped it to my leg. this was to help find the points on the outside of my body to put the tattoos. The nurses went into the other room and started the machine with the doctor. The ceiling of this room has beautiful blossoms on it, very relaxing for me. The machine pulls you through three times and all i have to do is lay still. after the machine has pulled me through the nurses marked the three points on my body where the laser will be pointed. then the nurse pokes me with a needle that has ink on it to make a tattoo. i now have three tattoos, two on my hips and one on my abdomen. when this was completed they showed me the mold of my legs and lead me back out the the changing area. That's the process for radiation.
after radiation i was told to go get a chest xray and then tomorrow i go get a CT scan, whatever that is. Radiology is on the 2nd floor. we checked in and went right back to x-ray. They had me undress again. I got in a gown and went right back. chest x-rays are the easiest procedures i have ever done. Well we left x-ray and went home to enjoy the rest of the day. Tomorrow CT scan, whatever that is....

April 30, 2010

Just got home from Dr. Nibley appointment. It did not turn out the way i wanted it to. first of all let me just tell you being a cancer doctor is a business. yeah they want to help you get better but i was interviewed by three people before meeting the doctor.
first you get weighed, blood pressure and height. then the nurse leads you to the room. then she asks a few questions and leaves. then the insurance advocate comes in and discusses insurance, she also lets us know about meetings where we can meet other cancer patients.
next lady comes in is a nurse practitioner or something like that. she asks about my health history my family history and anything else you can imaging relating to my health. then she examines me. this woman was interesting, she was a road biker. she was real random, braces on teeth partially colored gray hair and purple ballet shoes. interesting lady.
Then Dr. Nibley comes in after Chris and I watch a portion of the Hangover movie on my ipod, great movie to cheer me up. Dr. lets me know chemo treatment is not a one time pill. right now i am crying inside. he says chemo will be once a week for six weeks and will last three 1/2 hours by IV. what the fuck? possible side effects are nausea, tiredness, hair loss diarrhea and low immune system. i can get sick easily on chemo so i need to take real good care of myself.
now we have to meet with Dr. Thomson, radiation specialist, on monday to find out the final plan. i am not excited for the outcome.

april 17, 2010

going home day. this morning we found out we got our credit card stolen from the 7 11 gas station pump and was used in LA, CA. what a great way to start the day. doc said i can go home. take one more shower for the road. i get my IVs and staples out. also get one more stomach shot, blood thinner. so glad to be going home. i rode in a wheel chair downstairs because i didnt feel strong enough to walk. Got home and all the tulips were out and blooming. Chris' sister Jill came over and cleaned the whole house. it looked amazing. so nice to come home to a clean house. First thing i did when i got out of the car was walk around the house to see the backyard and garden. Oh how i wish i could be digging in the dirt right now.
Off to bed for a nap and dinner brought to me on a tray. I felt like a princess, with a ripped open abdomen. Home sweet home.

april 16, 2010

slept better tonight. can't wait to get the IV's out and have no ties to the bed. still on oxygen because i have the pain pump. i am walking around and going to the bathroom almost unassisted. told the doc i don't want to be on the pain pump anymore and to take me off. he waits until friday night to remove it. watching tv a lot more. got in the shower and it was amazing. forgot how good it is to get cleaned up and change clothes. talked with the radiation doc, Dr. Thomson, to find out more about the radiation procedures. He tells us we should meet at his office and have and exam and then figure out how much radiation is needed to shrink the tumors. I feel really confident and ready to get it over with. got a great massage from nurse carol. Couldn't believe it. this nurse warmed up some lotion told me to lean to the side and get ready for a massage. best part of the hospital by far. great lady, she said she was old school.

april 15, 2010

finally got milk and cereal for breakfast. so excited for a change. i started getting up to go to the bathroom less assisted. very frustrating to not be able to get out of bed with no pain and learn how to walk again. laughing, coughing, sneezing and crying in the hospital after abdominal surgery is not a good thing.

April 14, 2010

still only eating clear diet. terribly bland and boring. i felt bloated in my belly. people called and visited but i don't remember what day or what time. i thought i was pushing the pain meds button a lot but the nurse said i didn't push it enough. i hated the drugs and i hated being in bed. i was getting depressed and wanted to start getting more active but with the catheter i really couldn't do much. i did some more breathing and finally wednesday night they took the catheter out. it was such a relief. i was finally able to walk around without a bag strapped to my leg. I couldn't believe how hard it was to walk again. i had a spinal block so my legs were still a little numb but trying to make my feet move was so hard. just getting up to a seated position was an epic journey and i needed a nurse or chris to help every time. with the catheter out i had to get up every 2 or 3 hours and every time i got up it felt harder to do than the last time.

April 13, 2010

We got to the hospital to check in for surgery at 6:22 am. check in didn't take long. the check in room filled up fast. i was surprised how many people were getting surgery just that morning.
got called back and the nurse asked me to go to the restroom for a urine sample then back to the room to get in my gown. found a great show on Budda to watch and waited for nurse debbie. nurse debbie took my blood, put in an IV and gave me a blood thinning shot in the arm. this shot hurts so bad in the arm, make sure you get it in your stomach if you can.
next we wait and then get wheeled up to surgery.
we get up to the surgery floor and the nurse has me put on a hair cover. chris can not go with me any further. i think chris freaked out a little more than i did. nurse pushed me down the surgical hallway to a cubbie for surgery room 5, i think. nurse betty and the pain killer doc came and told me what was going to happen. he knew i was nervous about being put to sleep so he asked if i wanted some "i don't care" medicine. i said yes. i waited for the doc to get to the room and then the pain doc gave me the meds. he said it should work fast. i got wheeled into the OR and was asked by the nurse "okay sara you need to move to the other table." i said okay, and nothing happened. "sara you need to get on the other table." i said okay and nothing happened. then the nurses moved me to the other table and then the pain doc asked me to sit up. i tried to move but i couldn't. i looked around the room and saw all the cool machines and devices they use. then i fell asleep.
"sara, wake up. sara are you okay?" i was rolled into recovery. i didn't remember a thing. that was my worst fear. i asked the nurse if we were alive and they said yes. and i asked if we were in utah and they said yes. i just wanted to get back to chris but i had no idea how to talk. finally they started to wheel me to my room on the 11th floor of the tallest tower. i felt pretty special having such a high up room.
i had a private room with a great view of north slc. great night view. when we got back to the room, the nurses told me how to give myself pain meds and the buttons for the tv and nurse. then i was alone with chris. my sister jen, adriene and my mom came in to visit and my girls came too. i must have looked pretty bad. the doc told chris they didn't do the radical hysterectomy as planned because the tumor is going in a different area, to be specific it was growing on the uterosacral ligaments (or recto-uterine ligament) belongs to the major ligaments of uterus. The rectouterine folds contain a considerable amount of fibrous tissue and non-striped muscular fibers which are attached to the front of the sacrum and constitute the uterosacral ligaments, kind of a big ligament to mess with, so he took out eleven lymph nodes and that was it. i was relieved i didn't have to recover from a hysterectomy after all, but was pissed for having to go through all that to just take out nodes. Basically the doctor told me "I cut you open to take out all your lady bits but they looked really good except for the tumors i didn't want to remove so thanks and i hope you heal fast and pay your bill." Oh yeah he down graded me to stage 2 cervical cancer. He then told me i should see a different specialist and i would need chemotherapy and radiation. WTF? This was not in the deal. i am getting more pissed off but the drugs take over and i relax and tell myself to worry later.
first nights in the hospitals are always the worst. i couldn't sleep with nurses coming in every two hours or sooner to check on me. i had a catheter that was horrible. i missed the girls a lot. don't know what they thought of the whole thing. you can ask them and they will say they are fine or cry a little but you can never know for sure what they think. I started experiencing some breathing problems the first night so i got a breathing treatment and a few more every 4 hours. i couldn't breath after i did the breathing exercises, breathing exercises are taking breaths in and out using a plastic device. I suck on the tube and try to hold my breath then breathe out slowly. the breathing treatments helped my lungs open up and take more oxygen.