June 30, 2010

Yesterday, Tues June 29, i went to the chemo nurses at IMC to get my port accessed for today's procedure. I also got blood labs done while i was there. I did this so i wouldn't have to wait for a nurse that knew how to access my port at LD.
The blood transfusion really made a difference. I was tired the first day but the second day i was more awake and was feeling more like myself.
Radiation is now on Wednesdays. Chris and I arrived at LD around 5:45am. The waiting room was full, at least 4 couples ahead of us and one of the groups waiting had a baby. I was surprised to see a baby there, surprised they didn't go to Primary Childrens. We waited about 15 minutes and then got called back. We got in the room, got changed and the nurse came in. She was happy to see I was already accessed and all she had to do was a saline flush and hook up the saline bag, almost too easy. I was rolled down to the OR around 7:15am. Again, Lindsey Lloyd was my driver, and a new orderly in training. We chatted the whole ride down, good times. This was going to be a good day i thought to myself. They dropped me off at the OR, room 17. Dr. Thomson came over to talk to me. He mentioned that I only have one more treatment left and everything was going great. I was so relaxed and ready for today's events. I got rolled into the OR and i told the pain doc that the falafel meds don't work on me. He laughed and said, "you mean fentanyl?" Oh yeah, I mean fentanyl. He wasted no time getting me fast asleep. I didn't even get a chance to make any jokes, except for the one.
Recovery was good. Little to no pain. The catheter is an acquired, what is the word I'm looking for, acquired something, it didn't hurt like last Friday. I was coming out of sedation very quickly. The nurse asked me if i wanted some ice chips. "Yes please!" Never been offered ice chips before, so exciting! I few minutes passed and I could here the little baby coughing. Crazy hearing a baby coughing in the recovery room.
The nurse wheeled me down to radiation, i actually had to tell her where to go because it was her first time down to radiation. Weird how I am telling the nurses what to do in their hospital. I am feeling more like an empowered patient instead of a helpless one. Chris wasn't there! Where was he? I was worried but then I thought maybe he was out getting coffee or a snack. He was actually up in the other waiting room and didn't know i was out already since the prep went so fast. The CT scan went fast. Dr. Thomson actually stayed to do the mapping this time, which was awesome because I had the chance to ask him questions I had about my treatment. Out into the hallway to wait while they plan my radiation time. Chris played his game while i rested.
They wheel me into the radiation room. Dr. Thomson came into hook me up to the machine. "13 minutes Sara." He said to me, longest one yet. I just laid there and looked at the ceiling thinking about getting home and seeing the girls, thinking about how I'm going to get my life back to normal after this is over, thinking about how hard it's going to be to get my life back to normal, not just my life my families. Me having this disease has changed my whole families routine. I will celebrate when treatment is over but i will also celebrate when I get me and my families routine back. Removal of the packing went fast, only a little spotting. Dr. Thomson stayed in the room to answer some more questions we had.
What happens after my last treatment? In six weeks I will do an exam and a possible CT scan to check for the tumor.
When should I get my port removed? After the last treatment or unless you want to keep it in incase of a CT scan.
We had other questions but these were the two i remember and the most important.
We left the hospital at 10:30am. That is the fastest time yet. Can't wait to get next Wednesday over with. Thanks to everyone who is supporting me and my family through this. I appreciate everything you do, even the little things help us out a lot.

June 26, 2010

Chris and I arrive at the hospital around 11am. We ring the bell at the front desk, because it is saturday and there is no receptionist. Nurse Lisa opens the door and leads us to room 3. In the room there are three reclining chairs and a hospital bed. "Where do you want to sit?" nurse Lisa asks me. I chose the first recliner chair and get comfy. The hospital bed is looking real good but i stay in the chair. Lisa gets me set up and goes over the ins and outs of blood transfusions. I then sign a consent form and she hooks me up to a saline bag for an appetizer. I tell her i wish i had a jolly rancher because of the taste in my mouth and she and another nurse that walked right in hand me dishes of jolly ranchers. What the heck, this is service. Come to find out these two nurses are just the helpers for the real nurse. I have three ladies helping me today. Nurse Sue comes in and tells me she will be my nurse for the day and if i need anything let anyone of the ladies know. She gives me tylenol and benadryl in case of allergic reaction or fever. She tells me (and Chris) in the hallway there is a soda machine, juice in the fridge and snacks in the drawers. There are electronic games to play, my own TV and curtains in case i want some more privacy. This is luxury compared to the chemo floor. Just as i was getting more comfortable Nurse Ricki brings Chris and me a sack lunch. We are definitely getting spoiled. I don't think i would want this every day. I think if I did I would become ungrateful and lazy. I am glad I only had it for one day but wouldn't trade my chemo floor.
My blood arrives and Sue gets it hooked up. I ask Chris to tell me when it is going into my body, the thought of looking at the IV makes me nauseous. He tells me the blood is going in my body and I relax, doesn't feel much different. I become very sleepy, i think it is the tylenol. After about two hours, I have Chris help me get to the bathroom and then when we get back to the room I lay down in the hospital bed. I am very sleepy now and am getting cold. Nurse Sue brings me another blanket and I lay back and relax. Chris plays his game and goes to get coffee while i rest. After the first bag, i started to get hungry. I already ate my sack lunch so I have Chris go get me some soup. I eventually look at the IV and notice the blood looks like V8. Gross. Can't believe this is going to make me feel better. I am so sleepy from the tylenol i don't notice a huge difference with the transfusion. Finally the second bag is finished and Sue gets me ready to go. I feel a little better but still tired from the tylenol. Maybe tomorrow there will be a difference. Dinner was yummy. Chicken!

June 25, 2010

Since February 2010, June 25 was supposed to be the day I wake up, get my bike gear together, kiss my family good-bye and drive with my girlfriends to Logan to participate in the Harmons MS Ride. I had to change my plans because of my cancer treatments. For a while, i thought my treatments would be over and I would be well enough to go ride. Unfortunately my tumor was a little bigger and needed extra treatments. I raised $250 for Multiple Sclerosis Research in Utah. I appreciate all the people that donated to the ride this year. Tim, Mindy, Julie and her co-workers, Jennifer, Rick, Sue Ann, Sarah and the Crescent 23rd RS. Thanks so much for supporting me and Multiple Sclerosis Research here in Utah. Next year I plan to ride!
This morning we arrived at the LDS hospital on time, what a surprise. We waited until about 6:10am and got called back. There was nurse Bobbi ready to try her hand at my port. Bobbi asked me very politely, "Do you mind me trying to access your port or would you like me to call the other nurse?" I told Bobbi i would feel more comfortable with the other hack nurse accessing it, and Bobbi was very understanding. She let me know it would be another hour until the nurse would be here. Great. The other nurse came and got me all set up, come to find out she is the floor nurse coordinator. Can't remember her name.
Off to the surgery room. I saw my doctor and we chit chatted as I rolled into the OR. A nurse asked me my name and birthdate, as usual, and i responded. Then she asked me what procedure I was expecting to receive today. I said, "a breast augmentation and a nose job." She looked at me with her over made-up eyes and paused. I started to laugh and said "fletcher implants," and she realized i was joking. I actually was very relaxed, I wasn't even medicated at this time, just relaxed because i had been through this twice before and knew the outcome. Then another nurse started taking off my pants, I don't remember this part. I let the nurse know I don't remember this part and she cleverly told me it's because the doctor hasn't given you pain meds. No kidding. "Pain doc, I'm still awake, can you do something about that?" Dr. Richards, pain doc, told me he would get right on it and soon i was going to that happy place i go to every friday morning, to deep medicated sleep.
Recovery room. Oh my aching urethra. The catheter is not my friend this morning. I opened my eyes to find i had a lovely window seat and i was out of the OR by 8:30am, fastest time yet. I raised my hand to get the nurses attention. I asked her how long i would need to stay and she said until 9am. I started chit chatting with her and around 8:50am she said they should take me down because i was so awake. I think i was bugging her with all my questions and smart ass comments. I got wheeled down to radiation by Lindsey Lloyd, USA Olympic alternate for the womens boarder cross team, woohoo! I didn't know snowboarders had real jobs? Just kidding.
At radiation i was wheeled right into the CT scan room. I met a new nurse on the floor, January. Sweet, one more person to see my lady business. They move me to the machine and i relax as much as i can, oh yeah, nurse marilynn fixes my catheter, now it hurts a little less. CT scan complete. Now where is Chris. They wheeled me to the hall and Chris came to me from the waiting area. Chris has his ipod game to play while i lay there resting. About an 45 minutes go by and the doctor and all the nurses come over and wheel me into the radiation room. It seems that each week more and more people are joining me for the festivities. This time there is a chemist that is assisting. I didn't get his info because by this time i am ready to get this over with. Oh yeah and January the new nurse is there, this is her first experience with internal radiation. I watched her eyes as they hooked me up to the machine. She was not expecting that when the doctor lifted up the blanket and hooked me up. Wish i would have had my camera. Todays procedure will last 10 minutes.
Dr. Sause comes in with his entourage and unhooks me. "Sara are you ready, faster is quicker, you'll be done in no time." I say okay and he starts to remove the packing. Oh how I dislike this part. Nurse Januarys face is still taken back by the amount of packing that is being pulled from my who-ha. "Almost finished Sara, I'm going to remove the ovoids. Just relax." Sure, I'll relax as soon as that stuff is out. Finally it's over and i relax. Nurse Marilyn comes over to let me know they want me to get a blood transfusion because my counts are very low and it would be to my advantage to get blood. I am freaked out at the thought of getting blood but i know it's going to help. I slowly get up and get wheeled over to the changing rooms. Chris talks to me about the blood transfusion. He tells me we have to go to the IMC hospital right now and get typed for the blood. WHAT! I don't want to go from one hospital to the next. I know it has to be done so i deal with it.
We get to IMC hospital at 11:30am. Check in and go to the lab. The lab assistants are not qualified to access my port so I either have to get an IV in my arm or go to a different lab where a qualified nurse can draw my blood. I tell the nurse if she can find a vein then whatever, then i start crying like a baby. I don't want an IV that's why I have a port. The nurse tells me it's no problem to go to the other lab and she understands why I'm upset. Chris wasn't there for the water works and comes into the lab room to see me crying. I tell him we have to go to another building because they can't access my port and off we go.
We are sent to the Cancer Center were we spend most of our time with radiation and chemo, but this time we go to the 3rd floor. This is the transfusion floor and they also do chemo treatments here. Come to find out this floor is specifically for people with a lot of money that want a private room to receive their cancer treatments. So this is where the rich come to get treatments, not downstairs with the commoners. We get checked in and wait to get called back. The reason for this blood draw is to get the type of blood i need. They actually type it more specifically so that i won't have any allergic reactions.
We finally leave the hospital around 1:30pm. Can't wait to get home to lay down. I'm really not as tired as i normally am. My abdomen is tight and i feel a little tired but i have a hard time falling asleep. My sweet girls are at my dads so the house is very quiet. Chris has to go to work so I am left to rest by myself. This time tomorrow I will have a wonderful giving strangers blood in my body. Wonder who's blood I'm getting? Thank you blood givers of the world, you are amazing people! Oh yeah thanks to Michelle who brought us dinner, it was delicious!

June 21, 2010

NO MORE CHEMO! I can't believe it! Dr. Nibley told me since i am having such a high dose of radiation i no longer need chemotherapy. I think i cried for and hour. Tears of joy. Now all I have to do is make it through the three more internal radiations.

Today we went to Dr. Jolles to talk about my never ending period. He told me i should start an estrogen therapy, not a progesterone, to help the bleeding stop. Did you know taking too much estrogen can cause uterine cancer? Wow, what in this world won't cause cancer? Kind of makes me want to move to a farm and live off the fat of the land, the land that doesn't have cancer. If anyone knows where this cancer less land is, please let me know.
I still am tired and rundown but i am in better spirits. I can see the end of all this treatment. My port is uncomfortable, i can't get used to a foreign object in my body, which is funny because i have always wanted fake boobs, guess I'm not a good candidate for fake stuff in my body. Anyway, I don't know how I'm going to get used to working out with a port, this port maybe short lived. I guess I need to give it more time and let it "grow" on me. Gross.
Thanks for reading my ramblings and I hope you will stick with me to the end. It's not too much longer. We hope to have a big celebration party when there is"no evidence of the disease". I can't wait! Thanks to Esther for our yummy dinner tonight! Oh and I can't eat salads for the next two months, too much roughage. Love you all!

June 18, 2010

We arrived at LDS hospital around 5:40am. We sat in the waiting room for about 15 minutes and then got called back. I was more relaxed this morning just because i had an idea of what was going to happen, but not completely relaxed because i knew what was going to happen, sixes. We got into our room, no bed just a reclining chair, like the ones in the labor and delivery rooms, the chairs that are so uncomfortable, but add a pillow and a warm blanket and it was much better. Nurse Bobbi came in to start my IV and I told her i had a port. She says, "I am not sure how to do one of those, i better go get another nurse, then I can watch her and know for next time, okay?" Not okay. Bobbi then went on to assure me that she would practice on some oranges for next week when I come back. I am not okay with this and as i write this am dreading next Friday when I tell her I'm not comfortable with her poking me, chill out Sara.
I get wheeled over to the surgical room. This week they still have the paperwork wrong. Wrong doctor performing the procedure. Not cool. I of course freak out a little and then my doctor walks over to me and says hello. I am relieved he is there. I don't know if LDS makes a lot of mistakes like this but it is starting to get on my nerves.
The pain doc comes over and introduces herself, we chit chat and then she wheels me into the OR. I looked around the OR and listened to the nurses talking. They were saying that one nurse was going to train the other nurse, WHAT? I don't want people learning on me, especially during this procedure. One nurse starts putting me in the cross pose, seat belting me in, arms and all. Then i am asleep.
"Sara wake up." I'm in recovery. I notice there is no pain in my butt, thank goodness, but there is more pain in my urethra. What the hell did they do to me now? I raised my hand to get the nurses attention. I told her I had some pain and she asked if i wanted drugs, i said yes. I noticed the clock was almost 9am. Cool I am 15 minutes faster than last time. Now just to relax and enjoy the drugs and not think about anything until i can see Chris again.
My 15 minutes pass (ha), and i am wheeled out of recovery and down to radiation, floor 1. Marilyn and Shanna are there again, thank goodness familiar faces. And Chris, he is smiling and doesn't look too bored this time around. I get wheeled into the CT scan. Every week they need to do this to get a pic of the tumor and where they need to aim the radiation and how much and all that technical stuff. It only takes a few minutes and I am wheeled back into the hallway with Chris. Chris tells me a friend of ours, Jenna, was in the waiting room with him. Her aunt Viv has cancer and was getting a treatment. Crazy how cancer reunites people. No just reunites, even new friendships. We can talk to someone that has cancer and have this bond that you don't get with everyone else. We know what they are going through and can relate so much that we are instantly bonded. Anyway, I lay there in the hallway with Chris sitting my my side. We chit chat a little but i am so drugged up I just lay there. My friend Jenna comes over and lets me know everything is going to be great and gives me love. Time passes and the doc and nurses come out to wheel me in. I ask if Chris can go in the room to see what it looks like. First thing when I get wheeled in the room is the smell, it smells like burning, as Ralph would say. Chris kisses me goodbye for now and the doc, Dr. Sause, hooks me up to the machine. This time i need to "radiate" for 12 minutes. Oh joy 4 minutes longer, lets fry this sucker. While i lay in the room I think of all the things I'm going to do when this is over with. Everything will be different but better in every way.
Time passes and the door opens, everyone files back in the room. Dr. Sause tells me he likes to pull everything out quick so that it is over quick and i can recover quick. Sounds logical but i am hesitating a little. Nurse Marilyn tells me she had the pain doc give me extra drugs just for this part and i just relax and it really won't hurt that bad. I wish i would have known that in recovery because i wouldn't have asked for extra pain killers then, oh well, again. Surprisingly enough i felt little to no pain. Don't get me wrong, i could feel it but i really didn't care.
(I forgot to mention that my blood work came back showing i have anemia and i am losing too much blood. No duh, i have had the same period for the last four weeks. My body doesn't understand it needs to go into menopause so the doc wants me to start progesterone, oh joy.)
After the treatment, Marilyn got me sitting up and i tried to stand up to walk to get dressed but i couldn't. Probably the extra drugs and the anemia mixture thats making me so dizzy. She had to get a wheelchair. She wheeled me out the Chris and we went to the changing area. I sat on the toilet and went to the bathroom, oh the burning. Not the usual burning from the catheter, come to find out, the "training nurse" from the OR forgot to lube up the catheter before inserting it into my urethra, thanks LDS for providing the best care ever! Sorry so negative but when you are in the hospital this much i think i can complain a little. I got dressed and Chris wheeled me upstairs to the loading dock. It was so hot outside i thought i might melt. I was still feeling the pain meds and was completely exhausted from the lack of iron.
We get home and Auntie Jen has decided to clean all the windows. I am happy she is doing this. Sitting on the couch and looking through the dirty windows for the past 3 months was driving me crazy. Now to get the windows closed and turn on the AC because i am sweating and ready for nap time. I sleep for a while and then eat, then back to sleep again.
Saturday and Sunday i stay in bed sleeping or laying down because i have little to no energy.
Monday, i woke up at 8:30am and got breakfast and made myself go outside to do some much needed watering and weeding. Oh how good it feels to be outside. I stay in the shade for most of the morning. I love working in the garden, can't wait for the tomatoes to start coming on.
Much thanks to Michelle and Jill for mowing the lawn on Saturday.

June 17, 2010

So excited for today. Last day of external radiation! Woohoo! When we walked into radiation first thing they said was "last one!" I almost started with the water works but held back. We checked in and went to the waiting area. I sat down for just a second and therapist Carol Ann came out to get me. I wasn't ready. I wanted to get my ipod so I had some good music for my last day. Chris brought the girls back and they watched as the therapists got me on the table and ready for radiation. Ellie had not been in the radiation room before so she was watching everything and touching everything. Everyone left the room and it was just me in there. With Cocoa Teas Holy Mount Zion blasting I laid there with happy tears coming out of my eyes. Last buzz of the radiation machine and I could hear the door open and everyone came in the room. The therapist let Millie lower me down with the controller. She was very excited. We walked down the hall to the "celebrate" bell. We got a picture by the bell, and a really bad picture of me ringing the bell. Okay now the waterworks start. Sunglasses on. When I rang the bell, I can hear people in the office clapping for me, for my completion of this crazy radiation therapy I have endured. I receive certificate and lots of smiles and cheers. I am going to miss everyone at radiation, 26 days. I am definitely going to miss all the therapists, they were all very kind and understanding. Thanks to you all!
Tomorrow is another internal radiation. My sister Jennifer is coming up to stay over to watch the girls while we go to the hospital. We all went to Training Table for a celebration burger and fries. Can't wait to get tomorrow over with.

June 16, 2010

What a day! We got on the road at 7:40am to get to the hospital by 8am. Today i am having what i call "warranty work" on my port. The catheter was too long for my overly sensitive heart and causing my heart to flutter, make me dizzy and almost pass out. Not good, so a quick fix appointment. I received some IV antibiotics in case of infection, then down to the surgical room. The PA gave me 2 shots of lidocaine and he was off and cutting. He re-opened the port cut and removed the catheter from the port. Then he shortened the catheter by about 1/2 inch. I could breath better. What a difference it made. He stitched me back up and glued it shut. And we were done. The whole thing took about 40 minutes. Not bad but i was late for radiation. I had to recover for 20 minutes so i got out of there by 11am.
Chris and the girls waited out in the waiting room because i was on the Angio/ICU floor and it has a strict no children policy. Off to radiation.
We got into radiation quickly and home by 11:40am or so. The girls had a play date with Angi and her girls. They headed off to Classic for some water fun and bouncing, while I got a great nap.
Thanks to dinner by Sarah, all the snacks are going to come in handy. Running low on those! Thanks to all my family and friends that are still helping out and are willing to do just about anything to help us out. We so appreciate it! Much love to you all!