July 22, 2010

little info given. I knew i would not get much info from Dr Nibley. All he did was take my blood. I am looking forward to my meeting on August 2 with Dr. Thomson. I will have more info from that appointment.

July 21, 2010

I have an appointment with Dr. Nibley, chemo doc, tomorrow morning. I am assuming i will get some blood taken for a CBC and then chit chat with the doctor about the blood test. I think this is just an appointment to squeeze a little more money out of me.

I am healing fast, i have a no feeling in my surgery scar from my first surgery, lymph node removal. The swelling is going down and my stomach is starting to look somewhat 'normal'. My bowels are normal again and i have little to no heartburn. I am having a hard time sleeping without sleep aids. I have been trying not to nap during the day so that i am plenty tired but it's not working. I have stopped menstruating. My friend mentioned she was about to have her period and i remembered I should be having mine about now. I know you ladies out there might be jealous that i don't have a period but i actually miss it. My period was a great reminder of what i was able to do, as a woman, have children. Crazy how a treatment that is trying to save my life kills things in my body that can give life.
Less than two weeks until my pelvic exam. The Dr. Thomson should be able to tell if the cancer is not there. I know no matter what happens i will be able to deal with what is next.
Remember if you have doubt with what your doctor is suggesting to you for treatment that you have options. You have to research it yourself. Much love to all you wonderful people that have been there for me and my family.

July 7, 2010

What an amazing day! I can't believe how smooth today went. Got to the hospital a little late and got checked in by 6:05am. The nurse came in and got me hooked up to the saline in no time. We sat in the room watching a little TV but mostly just thinking. Thinking about how relieved we are to have this day finally here.
7:05am I get wheeled down to room 12. The pain doc comes to talk to me and i make some jokes, he is not amused. Dr. Thomson comes over to greet me and has the biggest smile on his face. "Today is the last day, but all the staff has enjoyed you so much we want you for two more procedures." Hey I can come back to visit but i am not doing any elective procedures. They wheel me in the room and the pain doc gives me something while Dr. Thomson was still talking to me, I fall fast asleep.
Recovery room is tough. I have pain in my pelvis but i can't figure out exactly where the pain is, just my pelvis area. I can't wake up and I feel real doped up. The nurse offers me ice chips and spoon feeds me, awesome. I don't know how long I am in recovery because i am having a hard time seeing the clock. I am really drugged up, hate that feeling when i can't shake it. I guess I came around enough to wheel me down to radiation.
Radiation is ready for me and wheels me right in to the CT scan room. I can barely remember being there but i remember I felt like forever. I think I talked to the nurse about a kitten but I can't remember everything. Crazy how sleepy and incoherent I was.
I finished up in the CT scan and got wheeled to the hall to wait for the planning. I was parked next to a man that was nauseous and actually vomiting. I felt so bad for him. He looked so uncomfortable and could barely sit up or roll over enough to vomit in the pan. I had it good, poor guy.
Time passed and they wheeled me to the radiation room. The chemist Keith hooks me up to the machine and lets me know it will be 13 minutes long. Geeez, this is going to be the longest 13 minutes. I am still really sleepy and I fade in and out of sleep. I am trying to stay awake to remember everything but i am so tired. The door opens and I'm finished. I'm finished with my last internal radiation. I get a little teary. Dr. Thomson tells me they used a new product on me, two balloons that are used instead of gauze. Oh great i thought, more pain. Dr. let me know he was going to start pulling it out and i tensed up, of course. No pain, no nothing. I couldn't believe how easy that was. The ovoids were the worst pain and they didn't really hurt that bad. Nurse January came in and took out my catheter and IV and I was finished. What a wonderful day! I feel so great. I know I still have to have check ups but I made it through my treatment. 3 months of hell was finally over. What is normal life? How can I express my joy of being alive and being able to be with my husband and two beautiful daughters? I have a body that works. I have more strength now than before this all started. Not physically but emotionally and mentally. I am so proud of myself for making it through. Words can't express how grateful I am to all the people that have helped us stay fed and everything.
I will write again on July 22 after my first check up with Dr. Nibley, chemo doctor. He will check my blood count and give me a check up. In 4 weeks I will meet with Dr. Thomson for a pelvic exam to see the tumor. If needs be, he will give me a CT scan.
LIVESTRONG!

June 30, 2010

Yesterday, Tues June 29, i went to the chemo nurses at IMC to get my port accessed for today's procedure. I also got blood labs done while i was there. I did this so i wouldn't have to wait for a nurse that knew how to access my port at LD.
The blood transfusion really made a difference. I was tired the first day but the second day i was more awake and was feeling more like myself.
Radiation is now on Wednesdays. Chris and I arrived at LD around 5:45am. The waiting room was full, at least 4 couples ahead of us and one of the groups waiting had a baby. I was surprised to see a baby there, surprised they didn't go to Primary Childrens. We waited about 15 minutes and then got called back. We got in the room, got changed and the nurse came in. She was happy to see I was already accessed and all she had to do was a saline flush and hook up the saline bag, almost too easy. I was rolled down to the OR around 7:15am. Again, Lindsey Lloyd was my driver, and a new orderly in training. We chatted the whole ride down, good times. This was going to be a good day i thought to myself. They dropped me off at the OR, room 17. Dr. Thomson came over to talk to me. He mentioned that I only have one more treatment left and everything was going great. I was so relaxed and ready for today's events. I got rolled into the OR and i told the pain doc that the falafel meds don't work on me. He laughed and said, "you mean fentanyl?" Oh yeah, I mean fentanyl. He wasted no time getting me fast asleep. I didn't even get a chance to make any jokes, except for the one.
Recovery was good. Little to no pain. The catheter is an acquired, what is the word I'm looking for, acquired something, it didn't hurt like last Friday. I was coming out of sedation very quickly. The nurse asked me if i wanted some ice chips. "Yes please!" Never been offered ice chips before, so exciting! I few minutes passed and I could here the little baby coughing. Crazy hearing a baby coughing in the recovery room.
The nurse wheeled me down to radiation, i actually had to tell her where to go because it was her first time down to radiation. Weird how I am telling the nurses what to do in their hospital. I am feeling more like an empowered patient instead of a helpless one. Chris wasn't there! Where was he? I was worried but then I thought maybe he was out getting coffee or a snack. He was actually up in the other waiting room and didn't know i was out already since the prep went so fast. The CT scan went fast. Dr. Thomson actually stayed to do the mapping this time, which was awesome because I had the chance to ask him questions I had about my treatment. Out into the hallway to wait while they plan my radiation time. Chris played his game while i rested.
They wheel me into the radiation room. Dr. Thomson came into hook me up to the machine. "13 minutes Sara." He said to me, longest one yet. I just laid there and looked at the ceiling thinking about getting home and seeing the girls, thinking about how I'm going to get my life back to normal after this is over, thinking about how hard it's going to be to get my life back to normal, not just my life my families. Me having this disease has changed my whole families routine. I will celebrate when treatment is over but i will also celebrate when I get me and my families routine back. Removal of the packing went fast, only a little spotting. Dr. Thomson stayed in the room to answer some more questions we had.
What happens after my last treatment? In six weeks I will do an exam and a possible CT scan to check for the tumor.
When should I get my port removed? After the last treatment or unless you want to keep it in incase of a CT scan.
We had other questions but these were the two i remember and the most important.
We left the hospital at 10:30am. That is the fastest time yet. Can't wait to get next Wednesday over with. Thanks to everyone who is supporting me and my family through this. I appreciate everything you do, even the little things help us out a lot.

June 26, 2010

Chris and I arrive at the hospital around 11am. We ring the bell at the front desk, because it is saturday and there is no receptionist. Nurse Lisa opens the door and leads us to room 3. In the room there are three reclining chairs and a hospital bed. "Where do you want to sit?" nurse Lisa asks me. I chose the first recliner chair and get comfy. The hospital bed is looking real good but i stay in the chair. Lisa gets me set up and goes over the ins and outs of blood transfusions. I then sign a consent form and she hooks me up to a saline bag for an appetizer. I tell her i wish i had a jolly rancher because of the taste in my mouth and she and another nurse that walked right in hand me dishes of jolly ranchers. What the heck, this is service. Come to find out these two nurses are just the helpers for the real nurse. I have three ladies helping me today. Nurse Sue comes in and tells me she will be my nurse for the day and if i need anything let anyone of the ladies know. She gives me tylenol and benadryl in case of allergic reaction or fever. She tells me (and Chris) in the hallway there is a soda machine, juice in the fridge and snacks in the drawers. There are electronic games to play, my own TV and curtains in case i want some more privacy. This is luxury compared to the chemo floor. Just as i was getting more comfortable Nurse Ricki brings Chris and me a sack lunch. We are definitely getting spoiled. I don't think i would want this every day. I think if I did I would become ungrateful and lazy. I am glad I only had it for one day but wouldn't trade my chemo floor.
My blood arrives and Sue gets it hooked up. I ask Chris to tell me when it is going into my body, the thought of looking at the IV makes me nauseous. He tells me the blood is going in my body and I relax, doesn't feel much different. I become very sleepy, i think it is the tylenol. After about two hours, I have Chris help me get to the bathroom and then when we get back to the room I lay down in the hospital bed. I am very sleepy now and am getting cold. Nurse Sue brings me another blanket and I lay back and relax. Chris plays his game and goes to get coffee while i rest. After the first bag, i started to get hungry. I already ate my sack lunch so I have Chris go get me some soup. I eventually look at the IV and notice the blood looks like V8. Gross. Can't believe this is going to make me feel better. I am so sleepy from the tylenol i don't notice a huge difference with the transfusion. Finally the second bag is finished and Sue gets me ready to go. I feel a little better but still tired from the tylenol. Maybe tomorrow there will be a difference. Dinner was yummy. Chicken!

June 25, 2010

Since February 2010, June 25 was supposed to be the day I wake up, get my bike gear together, kiss my family good-bye and drive with my girlfriends to Logan to participate in the Harmons MS Ride. I had to change my plans because of my cancer treatments. For a while, i thought my treatments would be over and I would be well enough to go ride. Unfortunately my tumor was a little bigger and needed extra treatments. I raised $250 for Multiple Sclerosis Research in Utah. I appreciate all the people that donated to the ride this year. Tim, Mindy, Julie and her co-workers, Jennifer, Rick, Sue Ann, Sarah and the Crescent 23rd RS. Thanks so much for supporting me and Multiple Sclerosis Research here in Utah. Next year I plan to ride!
This morning we arrived at the LDS hospital on time, what a surprise. We waited until about 6:10am and got called back. There was nurse Bobbi ready to try her hand at my port. Bobbi asked me very politely, "Do you mind me trying to access your port or would you like me to call the other nurse?" I told Bobbi i would feel more comfortable with the other hack nurse accessing it, and Bobbi was very understanding. She let me know it would be another hour until the nurse would be here. Great. The other nurse came and got me all set up, come to find out she is the floor nurse coordinator. Can't remember her name.
Off to the surgery room. I saw my doctor and we chit chatted as I rolled into the OR. A nurse asked me my name and birthdate, as usual, and i responded. Then she asked me what procedure I was expecting to receive today. I said, "a breast augmentation and a nose job." She looked at me with her over made-up eyes and paused. I started to laugh and said "fletcher implants," and she realized i was joking. I actually was very relaxed, I wasn't even medicated at this time, just relaxed because i had been through this twice before and knew the outcome. Then another nurse started taking off my pants, I don't remember this part. I let the nurse know I don't remember this part and she cleverly told me it's because the doctor hasn't given you pain meds. No kidding. "Pain doc, I'm still awake, can you do something about that?" Dr. Richards, pain doc, told me he would get right on it and soon i was going to that happy place i go to every friday morning, to deep medicated sleep.
Recovery room. Oh my aching urethra. The catheter is not my friend this morning. I opened my eyes to find i had a lovely window seat and i was out of the OR by 8:30am, fastest time yet. I raised my hand to get the nurses attention. I asked her how long i would need to stay and she said until 9am. I started chit chatting with her and around 8:50am she said they should take me down because i was so awake. I think i was bugging her with all my questions and smart ass comments. I got wheeled down to radiation by Lindsey Lloyd, USA Olympic alternate for the womens boarder cross team, woohoo! I didn't know snowboarders had real jobs? Just kidding.
At radiation i was wheeled right into the CT scan room. I met a new nurse on the floor, January. Sweet, one more person to see my lady business. They move me to the machine and i relax as much as i can, oh yeah, nurse marilynn fixes my catheter, now it hurts a little less. CT scan complete. Now where is Chris. They wheeled me to the hall and Chris came to me from the waiting area. Chris has his ipod game to play while i lay there resting. About an 45 minutes go by and the doctor and all the nurses come over and wheel me into the radiation room. It seems that each week more and more people are joining me for the festivities. This time there is a chemist that is assisting. I didn't get his info because by this time i am ready to get this over with. Oh yeah and January the new nurse is there, this is her first experience with internal radiation. I watched her eyes as they hooked me up to the machine. She was not expecting that when the doctor lifted up the blanket and hooked me up. Wish i would have had my camera. Todays procedure will last 10 minutes.
Dr. Sause comes in with his entourage and unhooks me. "Sara are you ready, faster is quicker, you'll be done in no time." I say okay and he starts to remove the packing. Oh how I dislike this part. Nurse Januarys face is still taken back by the amount of packing that is being pulled from my who-ha. "Almost finished Sara, I'm going to remove the ovoids. Just relax." Sure, I'll relax as soon as that stuff is out. Finally it's over and i relax. Nurse Marilyn comes over to let me know they want me to get a blood transfusion because my counts are very low and it would be to my advantage to get blood. I am freaked out at the thought of getting blood but i know it's going to help. I slowly get up and get wheeled over to the changing rooms. Chris talks to me about the blood transfusion. He tells me we have to go to the IMC hospital right now and get typed for the blood. WHAT! I don't want to go from one hospital to the next. I know it has to be done so i deal with it.
We get to IMC hospital at 11:30am. Check in and go to the lab. The lab assistants are not qualified to access my port so I either have to get an IV in my arm or go to a different lab where a qualified nurse can draw my blood. I tell the nurse if she can find a vein then whatever, then i start crying like a baby. I don't want an IV that's why I have a port. The nurse tells me it's no problem to go to the other lab and she understands why I'm upset. Chris wasn't there for the water works and comes into the lab room to see me crying. I tell him we have to go to another building because they can't access my port and off we go.
We are sent to the Cancer Center were we spend most of our time with radiation and chemo, but this time we go to the 3rd floor. This is the transfusion floor and they also do chemo treatments here. Come to find out this floor is specifically for people with a lot of money that want a private room to receive their cancer treatments. So this is where the rich come to get treatments, not downstairs with the commoners. We get checked in and wait to get called back. The reason for this blood draw is to get the type of blood i need. They actually type it more specifically so that i won't have any allergic reactions.
We finally leave the hospital around 1:30pm. Can't wait to get home to lay down. I'm really not as tired as i normally am. My abdomen is tight and i feel a little tired but i have a hard time falling asleep. My sweet girls are at my dads so the house is very quiet. Chris has to go to work so I am left to rest by myself. This time tomorrow I will have a wonderful giving strangers blood in my body. Wonder who's blood I'm getting? Thank you blood givers of the world, you are amazing people! Oh yeah thanks to Michelle who brought us dinner, it was delicious!

June 21, 2010

NO MORE CHEMO! I can't believe it! Dr. Nibley told me since i am having such a high dose of radiation i no longer need chemotherapy. I think i cried for and hour. Tears of joy. Now all I have to do is make it through the three more internal radiations.

Today we went to Dr. Jolles to talk about my never ending period. He told me i should start an estrogen therapy, not a progesterone, to help the bleeding stop. Did you know taking too much estrogen can cause uterine cancer? Wow, what in this world won't cause cancer? Kind of makes me want to move to a farm and live off the fat of the land, the land that doesn't have cancer. If anyone knows where this cancer less land is, please let me know.
I still am tired and rundown but i am in better spirits. I can see the end of all this treatment. My port is uncomfortable, i can't get used to a foreign object in my body, which is funny because i have always wanted fake boobs, guess I'm not a good candidate for fake stuff in my body. Anyway, I don't know how I'm going to get used to working out with a port, this port maybe short lived. I guess I need to give it more time and let it "grow" on me. Gross.
Thanks for reading my ramblings and I hope you will stick with me to the end. It's not too much longer. We hope to have a big celebration party when there is"no evidence of the disease". I can't wait! Thanks to Esther for our yummy dinner tonight! Oh and I can't eat salads for the next two months, too much roughage. Love you all!