Dealing with menopause at 36 years old

Okay so I am in need of a hormone doc or specialist for hormone, natural or other. After reading about my situation surgical menopause can have more severe symptoms. I so dislike taking medications. I am exercising and eating somewhat healthy. I have my almost one year check up mid July. It sounds horrible but I miss my period. Al least I knew the crazy time would only last a few days now it goes on for weeks. And talk about ot being able to build muscle and lose the fat. I shouldn't complain because I have my life but come on, I should be able to get my muscle back. Ayone out there know someone with menopause, what are they doing for it?

October 9, 2010

Yesterday we had a wonderful birthday party for Millie. We decided to celebrate her birthday early, real birthday is October 30. Can't believe she will be 8 years old. She is such a bright light in our life. Love you Mille.
Millie invited quite a few kids from school and the neighborhood. 26 kids in all showed which was great. More friends the better. We had a big bounce house and games, food and dessert. Oh and the prizes, everyone got a prize. Silly bandz are so popular we got 4 bags of them and ran out by the end of the party. What a great celebration for a beautiful young lady! Love you Millie!

August 6, 2010

I got my port out today. so exciting! We got to the hospital at 7:30am and got checked in right away. We went up to the angio floor and changed into a gown and booties. I had my vitals taken and the nurse poked my finger to check my bloods clotting abilities. No IV's, no blood work and no saline. Chris and the girls headed down to the cafeteria for breakfast and i got wheeled down to the surgical room. The nurse let chris and the girls see the surgical room, normally they aren't allowed but it's our last visit to angio, thought it would be cool to see where i go.
The smell of bacon filled the surgical room. It was driving me crazy. finally a nurse walked out and i said, "smells like bacon". she smiled and said one of the nurses was eating breakfast. No kidding.
Nurse monica got me prepped for the procedure. She put a drape over me and cleaned me off with the blue soap. Then the surgeon comes in and tells me what he is going to do and how long it will take.
Nurse Shelley asks me for my name and birthdate and she notices my birthday is in a week. "Its' almost your birthday, what are you going to do?" I told her i was going to go to a concert and then maybe have some cake or go fishing. Hey im not going to complain, I'm freaking alive i think thats what i should have said, I'm going to spend my birthday alive, how about that miss nurse!? Anyway, come to find out my surgeon has the same bday so we chatted about that while he injected the lidocaine in to my skin and muscle. It pinches a little bit but it numbs up real quick. I lay there on the bed talking with the doc while he is cutting and digging at my port. I really want to see but the drape keeps me from seeing anything. I tell him to tell me what he is doing, which i don't think he wants to do, he would rather keep up the chat we are having about something completely different.
I repeatedly tell him that i want to keep the port and for the nurses not to throw it away. I got my request. Doc sewed me up and took off the drape then he gave me my port, all cleaned off of course. So happy to have that thing out of my body. Can't wait to get back to lifting weights and doing more intense activities.
I think that wraps up my journey with cancer, except for the bills that keep coming. Once again i will mention, cancer is a business, yes it is a disease that take people to hell and back or just plan take them, but it is a business. My bills so far are well over $125,000. I could have most of our house paid off with that money. We are so blessed to have health insurance and only have to pay a fraction of that amount. Still this disease has people claiming bankruptcy and spending all of the money to pay to stay alive. I could keep complaining but i will stop there.
I am so grateful for my life, my sweet husband and my beautiful girls. Life isn't that bad, just seems like it is because we look at the negative to often than the positive. I have found myself choosing the positive side lately, it makes you feel so much better, especially if you can make another person happy.

August 2, 2010

My exam went very well today. Dr. Thomson did a very thorough exam. Side note, the doctor has a cool light thing that clip right onto the speculum to see in your lady bits. Chris and I were very impressed. After a very thorough exam, Dr. Thomson let us know he could not feel or see the tumor. My cervix is still healing and the tissue looks very healthy. There is no evidence of the tumor on my ligament. So excited! Can't believe i don't have to go to the doctors office for another 3 months. I will see the doctor every 3 months for a year and then go to every 6 months. The first 3 to 6 months my pap smears will show abnormal cells so he won't do a pap for another 6 months.
No CT scans. I am having my port taken out on friday August 6. I get so many weird looks when people see my port. I do have to admit it is gross looking but i would definitely recommend it to anyone that has to go through what i went through. The doctor let me know i shouldn't over do it with my workout, which i feel i am already over doing it. I am just so glad to be out of the house and being active again. Thank you to all of you that have supported me and my family. We love you all and couldn't have done it without your support and love.

July 22, 2010

little info given. I knew i would not get much info from Dr Nibley. All he did was take my blood. I am looking forward to my meeting on August 2 with Dr. Thomson. I will have more info from that appointment.

July 21, 2010

I have an appointment with Dr. Nibley, chemo doc, tomorrow morning. I am assuming i will get some blood taken for a CBC and then chit chat with the doctor about the blood test. I think this is just an appointment to squeeze a little more money out of me.

I am healing fast, i have a no feeling in my surgery scar from my first surgery, lymph node removal. The swelling is going down and my stomach is starting to look somewhat 'normal'. My bowels are normal again and i have little to no heartburn. I am having a hard time sleeping without sleep aids. I have been trying not to nap during the day so that i am plenty tired but it's not working. I have stopped menstruating. My friend mentioned she was about to have her period and i remembered I should be having mine about now. I know you ladies out there might be jealous that i don't have a period but i actually miss it. My period was a great reminder of what i was able to do, as a woman, have children. Crazy how a treatment that is trying to save my life kills things in my body that can give life.
Less than two weeks until my pelvic exam. The Dr. Thomson should be able to tell if the cancer is not there. I know no matter what happens i will be able to deal with what is next.
Remember if you have doubt with what your doctor is suggesting to you for treatment that you have options. You have to research it yourself. Much love to all you wonderful people that have been there for me and my family.

July 7, 2010

What an amazing day! I can't believe how smooth today went. Got to the hospital a little late and got checked in by 6:05am. The nurse came in and got me hooked up to the saline in no time. We sat in the room watching a little TV but mostly just thinking. Thinking about how relieved we are to have this day finally here.
7:05am I get wheeled down to room 12. The pain doc comes to talk to me and i make some jokes, he is not amused. Dr. Thomson comes over to greet me and has the biggest smile on his face. "Today is the last day, but all the staff has enjoyed you so much we want you for two more procedures." Hey I can come back to visit but i am not doing any elective procedures. They wheel me in the room and the pain doc gives me something while Dr. Thomson was still talking to me, I fall fast asleep.
Recovery room is tough. I have pain in my pelvis but i can't figure out exactly where the pain is, just my pelvis area. I can't wake up and I feel real doped up. The nurse offers me ice chips and spoon feeds me, awesome. I don't know how long I am in recovery because i am having a hard time seeing the clock. I am really drugged up, hate that feeling when i can't shake it. I guess I came around enough to wheel me down to radiation.
Radiation is ready for me and wheels me right in to the CT scan room. I can barely remember being there but i remember I felt like forever. I think I talked to the nurse about a kitten but I can't remember everything. Crazy how sleepy and incoherent I was.
I finished up in the CT scan and got wheeled to the hall to wait for the planning. I was parked next to a man that was nauseous and actually vomiting. I felt so bad for him. He looked so uncomfortable and could barely sit up or roll over enough to vomit in the pan. I had it good, poor guy.
Time passed and they wheeled me to the radiation room. The chemist Keith hooks me up to the machine and lets me know it will be 13 minutes long. Geeez, this is going to be the longest 13 minutes. I am still really sleepy and I fade in and out of sleep. I am trying to stay awake to remember everything but i am so tired. The door opens and I'm finished. I'm finished with my last internal radiation. I get a little teary. Dr. Thomson tells me they used a new product on me, two balloons that are used instead of gauze. Oh great i thought, more pain. Dr. let me know he was going to start pulling it out and i tensed up, of course. No pain, no nothing. I couldn't believe how easy that was. The ovoids were the worst pain and they didn't really hurt that bad. Nurse January came in and took out my catheter and IV and I was finished. What a wonderful day! I feel so great. I know I still have to have check ups but I made it through my treatment. 3 months of hell was finally over. What is normal life? How can I express my joy of being alive and being able to be with my husband and two beautiful daughters? I have a body that works. I have more strength now than before this all started. Not physically but emotionally and mentally. I am so proud of myself for making it through. Words can't express how grateful I am to all the people that have helped us stay fed and everything.
I will write again on July 22 after my first check up with Dr. Nibley, chemo doctor. He will check my blood count and give me a check up. In 4 weeks I will meet with Dr. Thomson for a pelvic exam to see the tumor. If needs be, he will give me a CT scan.
LIVESTRONG!