Monday is coming too fast. To sum up my family vacation, it rocked, mostly. Three days in sunny St. George in March was just what we needed. The constant thought of me having cancer in my body never left my brain. All weekend i thought about it.
While riding across St. George and Hurricane Utah all i did was go over every scenario of what cancer i have and how did it get there and what did i do wrong and how am i going to have a successful spring summer with cancer. What about my kids and my husband? what are they going to to with or without me? My bike ride was the most difficult ride i have ever done. i had to quit 40 miles in. i was physically, mentally and emotionally drained. This ride challenged me so bad it kicked my ass. Side, front and tail winds 15-30 mile per hour. At Sand Hollow Reservoir the sand pounded the left side of my body making the ride not enjoyable. Most of the ride i did solo or with strangers. My friend Tim tried to stay with me but he had to keep his pace. Go on without me, i will be fine. I quit in Hurricane. i called Chris to come pick me up. i waited at the Wendy's on the corner. Sitting at the table in the restaurant i thought about what i had just decided, to quit. i thought i should just get back on my bike and keep riding, but it was so easy to give up. Is this what you're going to do in your fight against cancer Sara? Give up and call for an easy ride? i made my decision and i had to live with it.
The rest of the trip was awesome. Spending time with the family. We went out to eat, went swimming, and on the way home we visited a ghost town and Zion's for a hike. I am so grateful for this trip. Now i just had to make it through this cancer thing and we can go on another vacation.
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