June 1, 2010

Didn't want to get out of bed because i knew how the day is going to play out. Radiation and chemotherapy and then more bedtime. No fun.
12 more radiations after this one then I'm finished. i just can't wait to ring the celebrate bell. The bell is to announce to everyone in the office you are finished with treatment. They have one for chemotherapy too. I'm getting a picture by both of them. i can't wait.
I took chris back to see the radiation room today. He was surprised by the size of the machine. He had seen my pictures but they didn't do it justice. He watched as the techs got me set up and they all left the room. I'm glad he got to see what i go through every morning.
Off to chemo, second floor. We visited with Dr. Nibley this morning. We talking about the stomach pains and diarrhea. I told him i think i have it under control. He laughed and said you are almost finished with treatment and now you are getting used to the side effects. He said it's going to go by fast now and soon I'm going to be myself again or something similar to myself.
After the meeting it's off to chemo. Chemo is packed today. Everyone had monday off so they are all here packed in like poisoned sardines.
We were lucky to get the last cubbie we usually claim. There was a couple already there but they didn't mind us setting up shop.
Nurse Doug was my nurse for todays events. He started in my right arm but for some reason my blood started to clot in the vial so he had to warm up my other arm and try there. Jackpot. Only two pokes today, and not the good kind.
HGB 12.3, PLT 117, NEU# 1.7. My neutrophil granulocyte numbers are going down but they are high enough to do treatment. Joy. I think i might get out of here before dinner. Praise the Lord.
Chris got me all set up, drinks to the side of me, cel phone, computer, ipod and a salad from Rumbi's, yum. Chris needs to leave to go pick up Ellie. She is at Amy's, our neighbor friends house playing, but I don't know how long Amy can stand Ellie's energy. Millie also has a teacher appreciation activity so chris has to visit the school. Oh yeah and he gets to run to the pharmacy and pick up more drugs for me. What would i do without Chris? i would be screwed! i would have to do this all on my own and I don't want to think of that. I am so grateful for Chris and everything he does for me and how much of my crap he puts up with.
Chris comes back with Millie and Ellie. This is the first time they will see me getting chemo. They both are shy to come to me and then realize they are safe to touch and sit on my lap. I let them sit with me for a bit and then Chris decided to take them downtown on trax to the Clark Planetarium. They stayed there until i was finished with chemo.
While chris and the girls are gone, i talk with the guy next to me. His name Jim, he has stomach liver and lung cancer. He has been given 3-6 months to live. I freaked out inside. Can't believe a doctor was able to give him an idea when his body is going to stop working. I am so grateful for not having to receive this number from a doctor. I have a number but no one is going to tell me when it's up.
I also met a woman name Lisa that has had cancer for five years and is now receiving chemo treatments to keep her tumors from getting bigger. She is going to die of cancer, she tells me. "I am going to die maybe this year maybe next year", she says. I can't believe the people i meet here. Such compassionate, sweet and courageous people that are on their way out. What a way to live or die. I am learning so much from this horrible disease it's actually quite an honor. I hate to say this but i wouldn't trade what i am learning from this journey.