May 4, 2010

we got millie off to school and i had chris go to work because a CT scan couldn't be that difficult. i sent ellie with amy and asked amy if she could drive me to the alta view hospital for the scan. i told her it wouldn't take that long, little did i know it would take far longer than i expected. i went up to the second floor to admitting and waited for about 10 minutes. i checked in and the admitting lady told me i needed to pay because sometimes insurance companys don't pay for CT scans. great to know just before the procedure. she then tells me they can run up to $5000. WTF? off to radiology.
i check in and the lady hands me some papers to fill out and a huge jug of yellow liquid. "you need to drink a cup of this every 20 minutes. you will need to finish by 1pm." 1pm i'm not staying that long. i asked her when this would be finished and she said 2pm. i started freaking out. she then told me i would have an IV. this is what made me start crying. i went out in the hall and called amy and told her it would be a long appointment and she was okay with watching ellie. thank goodness.
i went back into the waiting area and started drinking the liquid. it tasted like diet crystal light. i would plug my nose to drink it. it was very nasty. this started at 11:30 and ended at 1:15, almost 2 hours later. "SARA?" the nurse was calling me finally. she lead me to the procedure room. she asked me if i was wearing any metal clothing and i said no. i did something right. she told me to drink the rest of the drink, which i just threw away. i saw the machine and the table i had to lay down on and i freaked out. i held it together for a little bit. "how are you sara?" "super duper." i said to the nurse. she asked what i was being seen for and i told her cancer. she said oh i'm so sorry and i almost lost it. hold it together. i got on the slab and told them i need something under my knees. they put something for support. the nurse decided to start the IV on my left arm. she tried once and couldn't get a line so she called the nurse. he came in and talked a lot. i was now gently crying and trying to answer his never ending questions. he poked me once in the left arm and then changed to the right arm. "let me go get the cheater", the nurse said. i said okay and he went and got an ultrasound machine. he tried one more time and got a line in without the machine. the nurse told me i was going to taste a metal taste in my mouth and it will feel like im peeing my pants. great! she told me to raise my hands above my head and listen to the commands of the machine. i am still having a hard time not crying and the IV isn't feeling good. in fact it is stinging a little. i go in and out of the donut shaped machine 2 or 3 times then the nurse says there is going to be a warm feeling in my iv and i should just relax. it started stinging and i could taste the metal and it felt like i peed my pants."i think i just peed my pants." the nurse said it just feels like it and i said i think i really peed my pants. she promised it wasn't pee just a feeling and she stopped the machine. she said we are going to wait 2 minutes then start again. i just wanted it to be over. i went through the machine 2 or 3 more times and then the nurse asked if i had any more tests. i have no idea, don't they know this. in a nice voice i said, "not that i know of", and she took out my IV. thank goodness. she got the support from under my knees and i sat up.
i got my things and started back toward the waiting room. i heard my phone ringing and it was chris. he told me he was at the hospital but the wrong hospital. i told him just to meet me at home and i would have amy pick me up. she came and got me. she and ellie had so much fun. they went to mcdonalds, the library and then the grocery store. amy was so sweet about taking care of ellie. i so appreciate her doing that for me. i want to repay her but i dont know how? chris came home and stayed with me. i don't know how people go through this alone.
chemo meeting that night. somewhat informative. the nurse said i might lose patches of my hair, i thought i wasnt going to lose any. we got a big packet and we had a tour. watched a really old movie with real bad devotionals by real bad actors, they said they were real people but i beg to differ. Finally got home and went to bed, long day.